Explosion

 

“‘Yes if Jesus comes to live in your heart, you will explode.’ That is exactly what we should do if Jesus comes to live inside our hearts. We will explode with love, with compassion, with hurt for those who are hurting, and with joy for those who rejoice. We will explode with a desire to be more, to be better, to be close to the One who made us.” p. 108 Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis with Beth Clark

Complacency. Comfortableness. Apathy. Laziness. Selfishness. Self-Dependence. These are my biggest enemies. I’ve been reading this book, Kisses from Katie, about a girl’s story of living a life following Jesus. And I have been convicted. Over and over. What’s the point of knowing Jesus if He doesn’t change my whole life? What’s the point of simply trying to live a good life? Jesus calls us to God to make us new- to make us into His likeness. To be utterly transformed. My life here is full of physical blessings, but in a way, that’s such a curse. I have no physical needs in which I am dependent on God. So I can ignore Him whenever I want. I start believing the lie that I don’t need Him because my life is just so good. But boy oh boy is that a big fact lie. I need Him. My life is void without His. My life is empty and useless and full of my crazy selfishness without Him. It’s time for me to want to be made into a new creation, to seek His unfathomable love with a willingness to let it wash over me and create in me a new heart.

I got a job as a freshman English teacher. I am so excited and so overwhelmed. And I am so thankful that I will NEED to depend on Him for strength, patience, love, and self-discipline (because the Lord knows that I can’t be love to all my students with my failings). In my weakness, He is strong and His grace is made perfect. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. So why am I afraid to be weak? To admit that I can’t do it? Because when I finally get to that point, he says, “oh good! Now I can get to work.”  It’s time to change my perspective and my priorities. I need to seek him first, always.

I pray that this is a semester of brokenness, so that God can heal me. I pray it is a year of weakness, so he can be strong for me. I pray it is a semester of emptiness so that He can fill me. I pray that this is a season in my life where He transforms me with His all consuming love.